Sheep

I had intended to go to bed early tonight, but I can't sleep, so I thought I should work on this blog. A couple of months ago I went to the state fair. I was walking around and looking at the animals. One building housed the sheep and goats. One of the pens had four or five little goats. As I was walking by, a girl came in to check their water and feed and then she left. I watched those little goats try to follow her, and start bleating for her. It reminded my of the one year that I took a lamb to the fair. I had two little lambs, Elbert and Louise. All summer long I took care of them and got them ready for the fair. Sometimes, I would even just go sit with them or walk around with them. They would always follow me. They were sweet little companions for me. When fair week came I was really downhearted because I knew that I would have to sell my lambs at the end of the week. After the lambs were sold, they put them all together in one big pen. Someone had told me that they weren't going to feed or water the lambs that next day. Well, I didn't want my little lambs to go without food and water so I went to find them. I wasn't sure how I would find them. They were in a very large pen with a lot of sheep that all looked pretty much the same. As I was approaching the pen, two of the lambs moved toward me. They came running over to me and I recognized them as my little lambs.
Seeing those goats at the state fair reminded my of that experience and it made me think about a scripture. John 10:27 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." Though I don't understand how He does it, the Savior knows each of us individually. Out of all of the billions of people on this earth, He knows my name. He knows and recognizes me, but do I always know and recognize Him? Have I spent sufficient time with Him to know His voice and trust Him enough to follow? I do want to come to know Him better. I want to gain a real relationship with Him. I have been thinking recently that this is something I need to spend more time on. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now, and I think they are all important, but I really feel that I need to build a better relationship with the Savior. Sheri Dew has said that in the days ahead a casual commitment to Christ will not be enough to see us through. I think that to gain that relationship with the Savior I need to spend more time with Him, and spend more time trying to follow Him. I want to be numbered among His sheep.

Life is Good

So the other day I was sitting on my balcony in my rocking chair, eating strawberries and enjoying a light breeze. It was a wonderful, peaceful moment. The night before I was on my balcony watching lightning dancing around in the clouds over the mountains. It was awesome! The Lord truly blesses us with so many wonderful beautiful things in life. I have been feeling really optimistic lately. There are things happening in our nation that are somewhat frightening. I want to do what I can to resist what I consider to be evil forces that are trying to destroy our Constitution and our nation as well as the family. But even with all of that going on, I feel a peaceful sense of optimism. The bad guys can't win. They may make things really uncomfortable and maybe even downright dangerous, for a while, but they can't win. If we turn to Heavenly Father and the Savior, even in uncertain times, we can be supported and sustained. And meanwhile, the Lord blesses us with beautiful sunsets, calming feelings, meaningful relationships with friends and family and so many other blessings. Even certain sounds for me are beautiful treasures. I love to listen to meadowlarks singing. That is one of my favorite sounds. It thrills me every time I hear it. Another great sound is the laughter of my nieces and nephews, or to hear their voice on the phone because they just wanted to call me to say "hi." Life is good, and I'm so thankful to Heavenly Father for making it so.

Feeling God's Love

I had an experience a few weeks ago in which I felt Heavenly Father's love. The details are rather too personal to share in this setting, but I did want to write something of what I felt. Sometimes I wonder if the things I'm doing with my life are the right things. Sometimes I wonder why certain blessings that I desire never occur. Sometimes I wonder if I have enough faith. So, what an amazing blessing it was to truly feel that Heavenly Father loves me. Maybe I don't always deserve His love, but He still gives it freely.

Beatitudes - Turning to Christ

I have recently been reading the beatitudes in Matthew 5 of the New Testament. I have been considering them, not just as characteristics that we should try to develop, but actually as instruction on turning to the Savior and partaking of the atonement. In verse three we are told that the "kingdom of heaven" belongs to the "poor in spirit." Utilizing the footnotes, we learn that poor in spirit means poor in pride, or humble in spirit. The Book of Mormon further clarifies this scripture by adding "the poor in spirit who come unto me." So it is not just people who are humble that will receive the kingdom of heaven, but those that turn to Christ. Only those who humble themselves, come to Christ and repent, thus accessing the power of the atonement, can gain celestial glory.
Verse 4: Blessed are they that mourn ( I think we could add here again "who turn to Christ". There are plenty of people who mourn that are never comforted because they don't know where to turn to receive comfort). I have considered this verse in a couple of different ways. First, blessed are they that mourn because of trials or adversity. If these people turn to Christ, they can be comforted by the Savior and the Holy Ghost. In John 14: 16 the Savior promises the first and second comforters. Christ is one of these comforters, and the other is the Holy Ghost. As we receive that comfort we will be blessed with increased faith and testimony. I have heard many people say that they are grateful for the trials they have had because of the blessings that can come as they turned to Christ in the midst of their trial. The second way I looked at this was regarding those who mourn because of sin they have committed. Again, they will only be blessed with comfort as they turn to Christ and repent. This fits in nicely with the first principles and ordinances of the gospel. First we must have faith in Christ, then we can repent and part of the repentance process involves a certain mourning. Then through the saving ordinances of baptism and confirmation, we can receive the Comforters into our lives.
Verse 5 seems to be a reiteration of verse 3. The meek are those that are humble and teachable. They will inherit the earth, which will become the Celestial Kingdom.
Verse 6: Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness. I think this describes people who desire, seek, and are teachable (that seems to be coming up a lot). These are not people with a temporary, passive desire, but rather people who truly want to learn and are willing to act on the knowledge gained. These people will be filled. Filled with what? The Book of Mormon comes to the rescue again. 3 Nephi 12: 6 "they shall be filled with the Holy Ghost."
Verse 7: Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. I don't have too many deep thoughts on this one. Just that we must forgive others to attain forgiveness ourselves. This is also taught in D&C 64:9 and 82:1. Again, this is part of what we must do to access the cleansing power of the atonement.
Verse 8: Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. Something that is pure is something that has been cleansed, sanctified and made holy. Those who have been truly converted in their heart, can be cleansed through baptism, sanctified and made holy be the Spirit through the power of the atonement. These people will see God. They will be able to see God's hand in their life, but they will also one day be able to stand in His presence. Again, you can only become pure in heart as you turn to Christ and partake of the atonement.
Verse 9 seems to be a bit of a shift to me. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. All of the previous beatitudes, at least to me, talk about accessing the atonement. Now in verse nine is where we start becoming like Christ, the Prince of Peace. Other scriptures tell us that we only receive the power to become sons and daughters of Christ after we have believed on Him and accepted His atonement in our lives. See Mosiah 15: 11-12, John 1:12, 3 Nephi 9:17. So this blessing again is contingent on our accepting the atonement. This is how we gain the power to become like the Savior.
Verses 10-12 talk about enduring persecutions and reviling. Once we have accepted the atonement, our lives are not going to be all lollipops and roses. We may be, and probably will be, called upon to endure persecution and reviling because of our beliefs. There are many other scriptures that teach that those that endure to the end will be lifted up and saved at the last day. See 1 Nephi 13:37, 1 Nephi 22:31, Matthew 10:22. It makes me think of Lehi’s vision of the tree of life in 1 Nephi 8. In verse 28 of that chapter, Lehi describes how some people fell away after they had partaken of the fruit. They became ashamed because others were mocking them. Once we have reached the tree and partaken of the fruits of the atonement, we must hold firm to that position, or we can fall away.
So, where am I in this process? I am not exactly sure. I am trying to do what I can to learn more about the atonement and increase my faith. I know that Heavenly Father will help us in those efforts. He is anxious to bless us.

Taking His Name

I’ve been thinking about what it means to take Christ’s name upon us.  I guess I have always thought that it meant trying to become like Him and to do what He would do.  Lately, I’ve been thinking about it in a different way.  In our culture, generally speaking, when a woman marries she takes her husband’s name.  Having never been married, I’m not sure I understand the full implications of that, but it seems that she becomes one with him.  They are a unit together.  While they can still act and think independently of the other, they will both be striving for the same goals and helping each other to achieve them.  The woman’s identity is tied to her husband’s because she is known to others by his last name rather than her maiden name.  I have talked to several married women that I know and asked them what it meant for them to take their husband’s name.  I got different responses back.  One said that it was really hard for her to “give up” her maiden name.  Another told me that she was happy to do it.  She and her husband are a unit, and because they have different strengths and weaknesses, they can help each other.  One woman told me that she doesn’t even think about it as being her husband’s name.  It is just their name or their family name.  The scriptures say that Christ is the bridegroom.  When we partake of the gospel covenant, in a sense, we give ourselves to Christ as a woman gives herself to her husband.  We take His name upon us.  We should counsel with Him and become one with Him.  Our identity becomes tied to His identity.  

As I try to truly take His name upon me by aligning my thoughts and actions more fully with His will, I hope that I become identified by who He is more than by who and what I was before I made those covenants.  

Choosing Faith

Several weeks ago I was struggling to make an important decision in my life.  I had prayed about it for a long time but didn’t feel like I was getting a clear directive from the Lord on either choice.  Finally, I made a decision and asked if it was right.  Again, I didn’t feel like I got an answer.  So, I just went ahead with my decision.  It ended up not working out, and I had a little mini meltdown.  Obviously I had not made the right decision.  I should have been grateful that the Lord had not allowed something to work out that I was not supposed to do, but instead I started feeling angry.  I couldn’t understand why He didn’t just answer my prayer in the first place.  Writing this now, I’m pretty ashamed about my thoughts that night, because He apparently did answer my prayer, just not when or how I wanted Him to.  But that night, I couldn’t see that.   I started wondering why I should even continue to pray and seek His guidance for things.  Then I remembered a quote I had read in a talk by Elder Neil L. Andersen.  He said, “Faith is not only a feeling; it is a decision.”  Sometimes we have to choose faith.  We don’t always understand the Lord’s timing or His methods, after all His ways are not our ways.  Having faith is to trust in Him even when we don’t understand, and sometimes we have to make a conscience decision to have faith.  It is not always easy.  I am trying to choose faith in the promises given in Matthew 7:7 that if I ask, it shall be given; if I seek I shall find; if I knock, it shall be opened unto me.  I’m choosing to have faith that the Lord loves me and wants to help me in my life as I try to learn how and when he speaks to me in answer to prayers.

  

Tires & Tender Mercies

A couple of weeks ago, I left work a little after 5:00, only to discover that I had a flat tire on my car.  Now, I know how to change a tire, but I was afraid with my weak, little arms it might take a while so I went and asked someone to help me.  I wanted to make sure I would have time to take my tire in and get it repaired before the shop was closed.  I am really glad that I found someone that was willing to help.  The kind man that helped me had to work pretty hard to get my rusted-on tire off.  I don't think I would have been able to do it alone.  It took quite a while, and I started to really worry that the shop would be closed.  We finally got the donut on, and I was on my way, the whole time praying that I would be able to get it repaired that night.  Amazingly enough, I made it to the tire shop about 15 minutes before they closed and was able to get the tire fixed.  I felt like that was a real blessing from Heavenly Father, a tender mercy.  Yes, it was a little thing, and yes, I could have gotten it fixed the next day, but it was such a relief to get it taken care of that night.  I think it is sometimes those little things that help me to feel God's love, and to feel awed and amazed that He would even help me with something so trivial.  I know that we are truly children of God.  He loves us as a father does and He wants to help us.